This morning is 9/11/08…7 yr anniversary of some effed up destruction that changed the face of America. I’m thinking about an amazing man, that I believe may be a consistent anchor in my future. I am different. I know it, my kids know it, my friends know it, my fam ESPECIALLY knows it. So if anyone is to meet someone that is against the grain in my family-it would be me. I have entered into an interracial relationship with a brilliantly sensitive white man. As a bonus, he’s also the father of a black daughter.

I’m not the first in my family to date interracially. Actually, the youngest female grandchild was the first to have had a long term interracial relationship, which ended last year. All of the male grandchildren dated at least short term outside of our race.

The unique dynamic is that I met him online. We live approximately 1,000 miles away (I’m guessing) and it’s ok. It’s not alright…but it’s ok. We strive to communicate, and understand, and be there for each other. We have made a commitment to be exclusive. I believe him. He believes me. I used to say, “I can’t miss what I’ve never had.” Logically, that makes sense. But since when is emotions, logical? lol I’ve never entered an interracial relationship before him. He has. When I thought I may be interested in being part of an interracial relationship- I had to deal with stereotypes I had of white men, such as:

• Using me for sex.
• Being ashamed of me in front of friends.
• Regretting the decision to be with me.
• Please his family (if they’re bigots) and not me.
• Living a double life, ie finding out he’s a serial killer, rapist, the UNIBOMBER! smh

Just as white people, concerning Black America, I only had the news to use as a point of reference. I’m glad that I decided to forego ignorance and pursue my slice of happiness. Is there a difference between Paul (who’s white) and the other men I’ve dated prior to him? There’s a huge difference…but I don’t believe it’s because of race. I think I have matured in my selection. I am more relaxed with Paul living in another state, than when I was in relationships intrastate. There is NO DRAMA. There is a state of contentment that I’ve never experienced with a man that I now experience. Honesty is mandatory-ON BOTH sides. I’ll always appreciate my blackness, my culture and my community-but I’ll NEVER exclude possibilities from my life that lay outside the borders of my blackness.

Life.is. good.