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I’d be telling a lie if I said as a Christian, I’ve done everything, most some things, correctly.
I haven’t. And I admit it. But even still, I’m wondering why is it that it seems (to me) that God has overlooked me in the “Companion Department?” Shoot I know of people who have been married once, twice, thrice times-and I’m thinking “I can’t even get a male pulse to come my way” and these people have the opposite sex falling all over them! What gives?
I’m trying to hold on and not blame God. I know, in the blink of an eye, he could send my husband-to-be on his merry way to me…but He hasn’t. And if He isn’t…I wish He’d just tell me, so I wouldn’t be expectant of him.
Are you there God? It’s Me Bria.
I hate meeting guys and wondering if ‘he’s the one.’ It ALWAYS ends up being no. Being “love elusive” tends to cause one to question themselves, others and God. I don’t want to complain, I’m grateful for what God has done, and seriously-I don’t ask God for much.
Where is my relationship, where is my husband?
Are you There God? It’s me Bria…
I just want to know if you hear me, you’re working on it, situation’s resolved-something.
I can’t stand this part of me. The part that wants to be in a relationship-but feeling powerless over making it come to fruition.
Father, talk to me. It’s me…Bria.
Life used to be so easy…or at least it seemed that way.
The man that I “hoped” was he, is not.
I very much believe in woman’s intuition, so much so that I can’t ignore this nagging feeling that “something’s quite not right.”
He hasn’t disrespected me.
He’s been a gentleman to me, but yet…”something’s not right.”
Twice as our phone conversations abruptly ended, the feeling that “something’s just not right” quickly attached itself to me out of nowhere, like stray hair, and loose string to a velcro panel.
I don’t know what happened. I don’t know when it transpired, all I know is that it did.
Recently, as the days became the next, I’ve ruminated (that’s right…I ruminate!)…I’ve wandered why is it, that I come oh so close to entering a potential relationship, only to watch (to my chagrin) that very potential leave my life as quietly and unobtrusively as a butterfly, off to unknown parts?
I’ve classified myself as “Love Elusive.”
I believe (and I’m a realist) that I’ll always be two steps behind love. Maybe I’m like Apostle Paul…I’ll be single.
Don’t get me wrong, being single does has its advantages:
No compromising
Come and go as I please.
I can look at handsome men
I don’t have to cook, lol
No abuse-homicide concerns from partner
But yet, I still desire to be a part of a relationship.
I’m not sure what God’s will for my life is in that area. But I do know that He knows what’s best for me. I do know that I will never have to settle, again. And it’s ok. I may be “Love Elusive” or maybe I’ve eluded the love that was wrong for me.
Only time will tell.
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